Now more than ever before, we find women in their 20s and 30s in completely different life stages from each other. Gone are the days that our lives followed the same trajectory from college to getting married and having kids. While many women still get married young, even this important life stage can look vastly different between women depending on what matters most to them—travel, career, kids, or something else entirely. Today we see more and more young women choose to put themselves first, whether this means they pursue a career, start their own business, or travel and gain life experiences before settling down—and many say they never will!
All this to say, it’s very common for friends to be in completely different seasons while around the same age. And this can be challenging for friendships. The good news is, this means all of us women share at least one thing in common: we’re all chasing our dreams.
How do you maintain friendships when you’re in different seasons? To put it simply, you celebrate each other’s passions and dreams and respect how that makes your lives different. But let’s go deeper. Continue reading to find out our top tips on what we’ve learned from maintaining friendships when you’re in different seasons.
1. Don’t forget why you became friends in the first place
When you’re focused on what matters to you most in your present life, it can be easy to forget to take the time to reminisce on the past. In general, we say ‘great!’ There’s not much to gain from being nostalgic over the past, but when it comes to maintaining your friendships through different seasons, a little reminiscing can go a long way. When connecting with your friends, don’t be afraid to share old stories and laugh—maybe even cringe—at your shared memories.
2. Create time for making new memories
There may be friendships that fade, and it’s important to remember that that’s okay too. But for those friends you do want to stay close to despite your differences, you must make time for new shared experiences. Set aside time for doing a new activity and make a plan. Canceling social plans is easier than ever before, so make sure you’re both on the same page to make your plans together a priority.
3. Set healthy boundaries
Being in different seasons means you each have different challenges that are going to make it difficult to get together. Perhaps one friend’s finances are tight, and the other has a tight schedule with kids, while the other has demanding hours at work. Be clear about each of your life struggles so that you can be understanding when cancellations come up. Most importantly, go out of your way to make it easier for your friend. When making plans, think of how you can work around their schedules in order to ease their burdens.
4. Avoid comparison
It’s so easy to look at where someone else is in life and either judge them or be jealous of them. When you and your friends are in different life stages it can be tempting to determine who is doing “better” or who is further ahead. Rather than dwell on comparison, try to focus instead on the truth that you’re all dealing with ups and downs. This is something you each have in common. Until you dive deeper, you can never really know what someone is dealing with, and until you’ve been through someone else’s experience, you can’t know how challenging their season truly is.
5. Put yourself in their shoes
As hard as it may be to imagine yourself in a different season than you currently are, it goes a long way in understanding your friend when you can imagine what it’s like to be in her shoes. Take the time to empathize with how her situation may be different than yours and how that could be impacting her life. This will help you give her grace when she needs it, and you’ll be able to anticipate her needs and help her out when she needs support.
6. Remember that it’s okay to make new friends
You can still keep your old friends and make new friends too. After all, it’s important to have friends who can relate to your current life stage too. This doesn’t mean you’re giving up on your old friends, it just means you care about having a healthy social life! Don’t worry, you’re not being a “bad” friend, especially if you’re following our tips above for maintaining your friendships.
Maintaining friendships when you’re in different seasons is challenging, but so worth it when you take care of those relationships despite your differences. Let’s be honest, those friendships that stand the test of time are truly special, and they don’t come by often so it’s important to cherish them and invest in them.
